2010

Jon Kent, Zoey and Nathan,

Thank you for another year to be your momma.  Thank you for seeing past my flaws and many short comings and just loving me.  Thank you for loving each other.  Thank you for being kids and not growing up too quickly (although you are still growing up way too fast for my liking).  Thank you for healing my heart and letting me know that life still goes on and there are still plenty of reasons to keep living.

I hope that 2010 was a good year for each of you.  That at some point in your life you are able to look back at something we did in 2010 and smile.  That you are able to hold on to a memory that we've made and be able to look back on it with fondness.

In 2011 I hope we have many more memories together.  That it's a year for health and happiness and many good times.  I hope each of you grow, learn and love more than you have in the year past.

I love you.. each and everyone of you.

Happy New Year babies!

Love,

Momma

At least it wasn't Santa's lap

Nathan,

Oh my dear, dear Nathan. You my son are one of a kind. And I don't say that clichely.. (yeah, your momma just made that word up). You are just your very own person. There is no one even remotely like you.. well.. besides your daddy when he was your age. But let's not split hairs here.

Tonight was a prime example.

It probably started while we were in line to see Santa. It took forever to get to see him because it was also "bring your pet night". Which was cool. It gave you and your siblings something to look at. You wanted me to "hold chew". While holding you, you kept grabbing "yourself" and I asked what you were doing. "Just holdin' my 'googi' (that's what we call your little penis.. as do you and your siblings and the last few generations on your Gramsie's side of the family.. digressing...). We finally get up to the front and your picture was taken. You smiled wonderfully. We get the pictures and go to play at the indoor playground inside the mall. You were running around having a great time. Your daddy called you over to tie your shoe. So you climbed in his lap. While he was tying your shoe you grabbed yourself again and said you had to go potty....

And not two seconds later you say.....

Wait for it... wait for it..

"Oh well!" (in a long drawn out southern drawl)

Your daddy gets this confused yet shocked look on his face.. turns to me and says...

*side note here: I am laughing uncontrollably while typing this.*

"Did he just pee on me???.... Yes.. he just did."

And you did.

I held it together all through the mall. Kept my mean mommy face on and told you that you really knew better than to wet your pants. I kept it together while getting you and your brother and sister buckled into your seats.

But when I looked at your daddy as we were driving off to head home (no change of clothes were found) I couldn't hold it together anymore.

I laughed and laughed.

You daddy found no humor in the situation. Even questioning why I was laughing.

I will probably laugh about that for a good long while. The priceless expressions on your face and your daddy's will keep me smiling for quite some time.

Thank you for the laughs!

Love,

Momma

Happy Birthday, Zoey

Zoey,

Today you are 5. Five. Still seems like you should be that almost bald headed baby that I took home from the hospital. You were perfect. My whole pregnancy was such a healing process for me. You took away so much pain and hurt that I had put on myself. You will never be able to understand how much having you healed my heart. You just will never know. But that's OK.

I love you my sweet baby girl. There aren't enough words to tell you how much my heart grew just by having you in my life. You teach me everyday to roll with the punches and love no matter what. It's amazing that I am learning that lesson from a five year old. You are a good teacher.

I hope your fifth birthday was all you hoped for it to be and more. I love you, Zoeybug. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Love,

Momma

Happy Birthday, Jon Kent

Jon Kent,

November 15, 2004, at 5:05pm you were born. You were the answer to so many prayers. I longed to hold a baby and you were the one I was meant to hold. You had 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes. Your hair was peach fuss, blond and your eyes were a sparkling blue. You were tiny at only 5 pounds and 8 ounces. But you were perfect. You were born with a birth mark on your right butt cheek. It's still there, by the way.. along with some other birth marks that have made themselves known. You cried and cried but as soon as you heard your daddy's voice you grabbed his pinkie and quieted down. You were perfect. Although I was scared to death. I didn't want to do anything that would hurt you and still don't. Even though you are growing and learning I still don't want anything to hurt you. You are truly my heart outside my body. You amaze me with each passing day. How smart and loving you are. You are truly one of a kind and I pray you stay that way. I love you my sweet little 6 year old. I hope your birthday is the greatest one yet!

Love,

Momma

First Report Cards

Jon Kent and Zoey.

We got your first report cards last week. Y'all both did very well. Grades for you both of you aren't A,B,C, D or F right now. But M or P for Jon Kent and S or P for Zoey. M being mastered. Which, Jon Kent you have mastered all your skills except two and are P or making progress on the others. Zoey you got an S on everything. I couldn't have been prouder. So far, you both are so involved in school. I hope it always stays that way. You both are already so smart and love to learn. I know if you keep it up, you will develop in leaps and bounds.

Keep up the hard work!!

Love,

Momma

So proud of you!

Jon Kent,

I am so proud of you. You are growing and learning like I have never seen before. You are even starting to read! That's exciting stuff for me! You have completed your words for kindergarten, already! You are now on your "extra" word lists. How amazing is that!!?!?! Pretty amazing if you ask me! And you also made "Star Student" of the month for October! Again, so very proud of you and all that you are growing up to be.

Not only are you doing exceedingly well in school, but you are also growing in your knowledge of the Bible. Let me tell you.. that is far above anything else. You are asking questions and learning. And that makes me very happy. I pray that God is working in your heart, even now, so that one day you will ask Jesus to be your Savior and Lord.

I love you, Jon Kent and just can't believe all that you are doing. You are incredible and wonderful and awesome. I hope you know that I will also be here to cheer you on and for you to lean on when you need me.

Love,

Momma

It's hard

Jon Kent, Zoey and Nathan,

Can I be honest with you three? Raising you is hard. It's not a lick of easy. I am your parent. Not your friend. And while you may not understand that right now, I have high hopes that one day you will. This doesn't mean that one day we can't be friends. And even now we do "friend" type stuff. But at the end of the day, if you do something wrong and need to be corrected I have to do that. I can't just shrug if off and say it will all be better next time.

I am struggling right now with the whole parenting thing. It been getting to me that when I do get on to one of you, that all of you automatically think I am "mad". Granted, sometimes I am but it's not that I have stopped loving you. It's just that you have done something that called for me to get frustrated or upset. It's normal.

I am also not your teacher. If you get in trouble at school, you pull a stick or have to sit in time-out. At home, you get time-out and then if you continue to do wrong you get a spanking. It's not your teacher's job at the end of the day to make you a responsible person, an honest person, a person who cares for others, a person who listens, a person who puts forth effort and hopefully makes the world a better place.. It's my job. It's my life's purpose to make sure you grow up well.

So, please don't think that I don't love you and don't want the best for you. With every correction I make on your behalf is solely for your own good. You may not see it now.. but one day you will. And may be by then we can be friends too.

Love,

Momma

You did it!!

Nathan,

Today you pooped in the potty. For a 2.5 year old that is a great accomplishment! You were proud of yourself, too. Your wide smile reached from ear to ear. I was/am proud of you, too. You finally got the toy that you have been wanting since we started training you. It only took you 8 days to get it. I am one proud momma today. There for awhile I thought we were going to have to hang up the pull-ups for awhile. But you proved me wrong. I am glad you did. I am just so thrilled and happy and proud!!

Love,

Momma

Stay together

Jon Kent, Zoey and Nathan,

My mind wanders sometimes and I think about what your world will be like once I'm gone. Hopefully, you will be much, much older when that comes to be, but nonetheless, I want each of you to do something for me.

Stay together. Stay close. Call each other. Visit each other. You may live only a mile away from each other, or you may live thousands of miles from each other. Still, make time to stay connected.

Care about each other. If one of you is hurting, be there to hold them up. Take an interest in their lives, in their families. Love each other.

Once you are older you will realize how important family is. I want you to realize that while you can still enjoy it. Realize it sooner rather than later.

Take care of your daddy (if I'm not here for some reason or another). Include him in things that are simple, complicated, fun, not fun.. Make him a major part of your life.

Remember me. Don't let the memories we shared fade. Think back on them and laugh, cry.. Just remember.

I love you. Each of you.. with all my heart, soul and mind.

Love,

Momma

Potty or Not to Potty

Nathan,

Yesterday marked a new milestone for you. You started potty training. Yesterday went well. Considering it was your first day. You pooped in a diaper (because we hadn't "officially" started yet). You did manage to pee twice in the potty yesterday. And twice in your "big boy pants" (also known as pull-ups). Today.. well.. you have peed in the potty once. Peed in your pants twice and pooped in your pants once. So.. it's about like I expected. I think you will eventually get the hang of it. We are in this for the long haul. All diapers are gone and will not return. I know you can do this. You have a "grand prize" waiting for you at the end. I am proud that you are making this milestone and will be even prouder once you've accomplished it. My baby is growing into a little boy. Bittersweet.

Love,

Momma

Magic Shoes

Nathan,

Bless it. You have crooked feet. OK, so really it's just your left foot that is currently crooked. But your right leg is doing this weird bowing thing and it's making your whole walk kind of.. well.. funny. Cute funny. Because you make it work. However, when you are a teenager you will not think it's cute and will probably curse the day I bore you and your crooked left foot and right weird leg self. So, we are doing something about it now. Could have done something about it when you were a baby, but it went undetected until about 6 months ago. Sorry. Really and truly I am. We have gotten you some "magic" shoes that are supposed to reshape your foot and make sure your right foot doesn't get jealous of all the attention ole lefty is getting and try to do the same. With all that said, once we did get the magic shoes your right leg decided to bow in and now you have to sleep with a bar between your feet. It's only night one of that whole ordeal, so the true test hasn't been completed yet. But I am hoping for the best. And hoping that your sweet little two year old mind can grasp, even if just a little bit, that it's all for your own good. And that I am really sorry we have to do it, but rather it be now than later. I love you, Nate-Nate. Just remember.. when you are the fastest runner on your track team or on the football team or basketball team or whatever team.. this was all worth it. And I'll try to remember that, too.

Love,


Momma

Princess Helper

Zoey,

You started preschool last week. Which is going well. You love it. I knew you would. You have always been my social butterfly. You're tough on the outside, but so tender on the inside. Only those who know you best know the latter. I think that makes you amazing. Not wanting to show all your cards until you feel comfortable enough to do that. To have enough restraint, at such a young age, not to just blow your emotions all over the place. Granted, I know we haven't hit the teen years yet, but for now it's something wonderful to behold.

Here lately you have been all about helping. Helping me cook, helping me "read", helping me clean, helping me wash the clothes, helping me put things up or helping me picked out every one's clothes. You are just wanting to help. Now, if I am to be honest, sometimes I get irritated by all your helping. In my mind, it's easier to just do it myself. But I am trying to be patient. Trying to let you help and let you learn all these different skills. I hope I am doing a good enough job.

I want to be a good momma to you and your brothers. I want to be someone that you can come to and talk with. Share things with. For us to do things together that are normal and that are different. I love you my baby girl and it amazes me how beautiful you are on the outside, but most importantly.. on the inside.

Love,

Momma

Stubborn

Nathan,

I love you. I mean, I really love you. So much in fact, that I put up with your stubbornness. And when I say stubborn, I mean.. really, really stubborn. But I still love you and you should know that. Because despite the fact that you are so stubborn and continue to do whatever it is that you please I still think you are the cutest, smartest and most wonderful little 2 year old boy in the whole wide world. And that's saying a lot.. because there are a lot of 2 year old boys in this world. So, since I love you so much and care for you day after day after day, could you please.. please.. PLEASE just not be so stubborn? Please???

Love,

Momma

I'm gonna miss this...

Jon Kent, Zoey and Nathan,

Summer around here is coming to a close. With school starting for two of you (Jon Kent and Zoey, if you were really wondering) it's put our summertime fun activities to a minimum. Pretty soon our slightly bigger pool will be taken down and put up. Cooler weather will creep it's way in and we will start getting busy with a road trip or two, football games and soon it will be Christmas time.

Have I told you how absolutely wonderful I believe our summer this year was? It was amazing. There weren't many dull moments. A trip to the beach, many a trip to Monkey Joe's, too many days to count in the pool, trips to see family in Alabama, visits from family, picnics in the park, staying up late, pedicures, trips to the movies, play dates with friends... The list could go on and on. It was just an amazing summer.

So, thank you. Thank you for making it an amazing summer. I needed it. You will never know how badly I needed it. After losing my momma, your Gramsie, I needed to be reminded that life still goes on. And that you are my life. So, again and again.. thank you. It was one summer that I will never forget.

Love,

Momma

Jon Kent- 1st day of kindergarten

Jon Kent,

Today was your first day of school. Wow. How did we get here so quickly? I can still remember holding your tiny five and half pound self. Kissing your blond peach fuzz and thinking how in the world I can love someone that much and have just met them for the first time. And five years later I am letting you go and letting you taste independence. If I am being honest, it was hard. It's hard for me to let someone else teach you and watch you grow. But I didn't cry. I teared up, but I held it together because you were doing so well. You smiled and told me that you loved me. I told you that I loved you and wanted you to have a good day. And to remember to say, "Yes m'am and No m'am." You told me you would. I was so proud. I paced most of the day. I couldn't stop thinking about what you were doing, learning. If you were meeting new friends or if you were having trouble buttoning your pants after going to the bathroom. I couldn't wait for 2:30pm to get here so I could go pick you up. As I drove up to the curb, you had the biggest smile on your face and you were so excited to see me. My heart could have burst with excitement. You climbed in and started telling me all about your day. I asked if you ever cried after I left and you told me, "Only once.. almost.. and that was because I was missing you." That just made my day. Not that you almost cried but that I mean so much to you that you were missing me. You later told me that you didn't really want to go back tomorrow. But I think I have convinced you otherwise. Is it bad that you are already asking me how many days until you don't have to go to school anymore? I am really hoping tomorrow goes just as well as today went. You are just growing up way too quickly. I just want to stop time and enjoy you as you are right now, forever. You are such an amazing little boy. To say that I am so very proud of you just doesn't do you justice. I am beyond proud. Thank you, so much for letting me be a part of this amazing milestone. I love you, so very much.


Love,
Momma

From my heart to yours

Jon Kent, Zoey and Nathan,

This is for you, my babies. My heart and soul. My reasons for living. This blog will be letters from me to you during given times of your life or when I just want you to know what's in my heart. The other blog is still yours as well, but this one is more in letter form. My hope is that someday you can read back on this and see my hopes and dreams for you. Whether you meet them or not isn't the point. As long as you strive to do and be your best and keep God #1 in your life, then that's all I could ever ask for. I love you. Each and everyone of you.

Love,

Momma