2010

Jon Kent, Zoey and Nathan,

Thank you for another year to be your momma.  Thank you for seeing past my flaws and many short comings and just loving me.  Thank you for loving each other.  Thank you for being kids and not growing up too quickly (although you are still growing up way too fast for my liking).  Thank you for healing my heart and letting me know that life still goes on and there are still plenty of reasons to keep living.

I hope that 2010 was a good year for each of you.  That at some point in your life you are able to look back at something we did in 2010 and smile.  That you are able to hold on to a memory that we've made and be able to look back on it with fondness.

In 2011 I hope we have many more memories together.  That it's a year for health and happiness and many good times.  I hope each of you grow, learn and love more than you have in the year past.

I love you.. each and everyone of you.

Happy New Year babies!

Love,

Momma

At least it wasn't Santa's lap

Nathan,

Oh my dear, dear Nathan. You my son are one of a kind. And I don't say that clichely.. (yeah, your momma just made that word up). You are just your very own person. There is no one even remotely like you.. well.. besides your daddy when he was your age. But let's not split hairs here.

Tonight was a prime example.

It probably started while we were in line to see Santa. It took forever to get to see him because it was also "bring your pet night". Which was cool. It gave you and your siblings something to look at. You wanted me to "hold chew". While holding you, you kept grabbing "yourself" and I asked what you were doing. "Just holdin' my 'googi' (that's what we call your little penis.. as do you and your siblings and the last few generations on your Gramsie's side of the family.. digressing...). We finally get up to the front and your picture was taken. You smiled wonderfully. We get the pictures and go to play at the indoor playground inside the mall. You were running around having a great time. Your daddy called you over to tie your shoe. So you climbed in his lap. While he was tying your shoe you grabbed yourself again and said you had to go potty....

And not two seconds later you say.....

Wait for it... wait for it..

"Oh well!" (in a long drawn out southern drawl)

Your daddy gets this confused yet shocked look on his face.. turns to me and says...

*side note here: I am laughing uncontrollably while typing this.*

"Did he just pee on me???.... Yes.. he just did."

And you did.

I held it together all through the mall. Kept my mean mommy face on and told you that you really knew better than to wet your pants. I kept it together while getting you and your brother and sister buckled into your seats.

But when I looked at your daddy as we were driving off to head home (no change of clothes were found) I couldn't hold it together anymore.

I laughed and laughed.

You daddy found no humor in the situation. Even questioning why I was laughing.

I will probably laugh about that for a good long while. The priceless expressions on your face and your daddy's will keep me smiling for quite some time.

Thank you for the laughs!

Love,

Momma

Happy Birthday, Zoey

Zoey,

Today you are 5. Five. Still seems like you should be that almost bald headed baby that I took home from the hospital. You were perfect. My whole pregnancy was such a healing process for me. You took away so much pain and hurt that I had put on myself. You will never be able to understand how much having you healed my heart. You just will never know. But that's OK.

I love you my sweet baby girl. There aren't enough words to tell you how much my heart grew just by having you in my life. You teach me everyday to roll with the punches and love no matter what. It's amazing that I am learning that lesson from a five year old. You are a good teacher.

I hope your fifth birthday was all you hoped for it to be and more. I love you, Zoeybug. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Love,

Momma

Happy Birthday, Jon Kent

Jon Kent,

November 15, 2004, at 5:05pm you were born. You were the answer to so many prayers. I longed to hold a baby and you were the one I was meant to hold. You had 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes. Your hair was peach fuss, blond and your eyes were a sparkling blue. You were tiny at only 5 pounds and 8 ounces. But you were perfect. You were born with a birth mark on your right butt cheek. It's still there, by the way.. along with some other birth marks that have made themselves known. You cried and cried but as soon as you heard your daddy's voice you grabbed his pinkie and quieted down. You were perfect. Although I was scared to death. I didn't want to do anything that would hurt you and still don't. Even though you are growing and learning I still don't want anything to hurt you. You are truly my heart outside my body. You amaze me with each passing day. How smart and loving you are. You are truly one of a kind and I pray you stay that way. I love you my sweet little 6 year old. I hope your birthday is the greatest one yet!

Love,

Momma

First Report Cards

Jon Kent and Zoey.

We got your first report cards last week. Y'all both did very well. Grades for you both of you aren't A,B,C, D or F right now. But M or P for Jon Kent and S or P for Zoey. M being mastered. Which, Jon Kent you have mastered all your skills except two and are P or making progress on the others. Zoey you got an S on everything. I couldn't have been prouder. So far, you both are so involved in school. I hope it always stays that way. You both are already so smart and love to learn. I know if you keep it up, you will develop in leaps and bounds.

Keep up the hard work!!

Love,

Momma

So proud of you!

Jon Kent,

I am so proud of you. You are growing and learning like I have never seen before. You are even starting to read! That's exciting stuff for me! You have completed your words for kindergarten, already! You are now on your "extra" word lists. How amazing is that!!?!?! Pretty amazing if you ask me! And you also made "Star Student" of the month for October! Again, so very proud of you and all that you are growing up to be.

Not only are you doing exceedingly well in school, but you are also growing in your knowledge of the Bible. Let me tell you.. that is far above anything else. You are asking questions and learning. And that makes me very happy. I pray that God is working in your heart, even now, so that one day you will ask Jesus to be your Savior and Lord.

I love you, Jon Kent and just can't believe all that you are doing. You are incredible and wonderful and awesome. I hope you know that I will also be here to cheer you on and for you to lean on when you need me.

Love,

Momma

It's hard

Jon Kent, Zoey and Nathan,

Can I be honest with you three? Raising you is hard. It's not a lick of easy. I am your parent. Not your friend. And while you may not understand that right now, I have high hopes that one day you will. This doesn't mean that one day we can't be friends. And even now we do "friend" type stuff. But at the end of the day, if you do something wrong and need to be corrected I have to do that. I can't just shrug if off and say it will all be better next time.

I am struggling right now with the whole parenting thing. It been getting to me that when I do get on to one of you, that all of you automatically think I am "mad". Granted, sometimes I am but it's not that I have stopped loving you. It's just that you have done something that called for me to get frustrated or upset. It's normal.

I am also not your teacher. If you get in trouble at school, you pull a stick or have to sit in time-out. At home, you get time-out and then if you continue to do wrong you get a spanking. It's not your teacher's job at the end of the day to make you a responsible person, an honest person, a person who cares for others, a person who listens, a person who puts forth effort and hopefully makes the world a better place.. It's my job. It's my life's purpose to make sure you grow up well.

So, please don't think that I don't love you and don't want the best for you. With every correction I make on your behalf is solely for your own good. You may not see it now.. but one day you will. And may be by then we can be friends too.

Love,

Momma